Broken thread
by Music of the wind
Summary: Bella has been able to see ghosts since she was four. When her best friend Edward dies she makes him promise to cross over. What happens three years later when she realizes he hasn't?
1. Memories and a promise

**Memories and a promise**

Bella sat at her computer desk and stared at her calendar. Today was 20th of June. The sight of that date brought tears to her eyes. Three years ago today her best friend Edward Cullen had died from Leukemia.

She remembered the day that she had found out that Edward was sick. **Flashback: **Bella was six years old and Edward was eight. She was sitting on her bed waiting for Edward to come over. It was her birthday and he said he had a special present for her.

Renee came upstairs to her room, "Bella Edward isn't coming over."

Bella stared into her mother's heartbroken face, "Mom Edward promised. He's just running a little late."

Renee sat on the bed and took her daughter's hand, "Bells, they took him to the hospital. He's very sick. Get your coat and I'll take you to see him. He needs a friendly face right now."

Bella burst into tears, "No!"

Renee pulled her daughter into a hug, "Bella I'm so sorry sweetheart. Now get your coat and meet me in the car. We have to get you in to see Edward before visiting hours are over. Your father is already there."

When they reached the hospital Renee asked what room Edward was in and then she and Bella went up the stairs to his room. It didn't cross Bella's mind why they didn't take the elevator until she saw what was written on the door to the entrance of the flight of stairs; cancer ward.

Bella ran into Edward's hospital room sobbing. Edward was sitting up in the bed reading a book. He put the book down when he saw Bella. He slid over so there was room for her on the small bed, "Come up here. Hey Bella no tears ok. There is something I want to tell you and I don't want you to be sad. Promise me."

Bella sniffled softly but stopped the tears from falling. Edward put his arm around her, "You know how I've been really tired lately? Well my mom took me to the doctor today and… I have Leukemia. Bella don't cry. I'm going to be ok. The doctors said I'm going to be fine." **End Flash back**

Bella was brought out of her memories by Edward's sister Alice calling her name, "Bella. Since today is Edward's birthday my family was going to go out to his grave. Did you want to come with us? Bella what's the matter? Do you see him?"

Bella shook her head, "No Alice. Hey don't be upset. It's a good thing. It means he's at peace."

Alice shook her head, "Bella are you sure you just aren't seeing him because you don't want to see him? I mean you only told Edward and me that you could see ghosts. Before he died you made him promise he would cross over. I just wish I knew he was at peace where ever he was. I miss him so much."

Bella hugged her friend, "I know Allie. I miss him to. He was the first person I ever told about what I could do. He loved me anyway. No matter how crazy I looked to the rest of the world. It didn't matter because there was Edward. Enough moping; let's get to school. Edward made us promise not to be sad."

Half way through lunch Bella heard a voice, "Bella love. I know you can hear me. You seem to be the only one who can. Can you give a message to my family for me?"

Bella gripped the table and ignored the voice. Deep in her heart she knew who was talking to her. She knew that was Edward. Tears glistened in her eyes when she saw the flash of pain cross Alice's features.

Quietly she muttered, "Not now Edward."

Edward spoke loudly, "So when I'm alive you pay more attention to the dead. Now that I'm dead the living is who you want to hang around? I'm in trouble Bella and you are the only one who can help me."

Bella ran from the lunchroom and grabbed her backpack out of her locker, she was so angry and upset she didn't notice Emmett. Her brother grabbed her shoulder, "Bells? Bella is everything ok?"

Bella screamed in frustration, "What is the date Emmett? What happened this day three years ago? I'm not ok! I will never be ok. Not as long as Edward is dead!"

Emmett put his hands on his little sister's shoulders, "I'm sorry sis. It's his birthday isn't it? Can you make it the rest of the day? If not I can take you home."

Bella swallowed, "Emmett I don't think I can. I know it's been three years but I feel like he's here with me. Does that sound silly to you?"

Emmett kissed his sister's hair, "No. Bells you and Edward were very close. This is normal to go through. I remember the night he died you scared the hell out of me. You locked yourself in your room and screamed. It sounded like you were being torn in to pieces. You really loved him didn't you?"

Bella nodded, "I never got the chance to tell him though. I mean he was my best friend and now… I'll never get the chance."

Emmett sighed, "Bella Edward was my best friend. He knew how much you love him. That alone gave him the strength to make it as long as he did. Remember he took you to junior prom? He told me that was the best night of his life. That was also the week before he died. You made his last week wonderful Bella. I'll take you home and you can get some lilies for his grave ok?"

Bella sighed she wished that she could tell her brother about her "gift"; sometimes seeing ghosts sometimes felt more like a curse. She swallowed back the desire to answer the voice that she knew was Edward when he whispered, "No lilies. I want yellow roses and orange blossoms. Bella I want your favorite flower on my grave."

Bella felt her head begin to spin and Emmett grabbed her arm to steady her, "Easy Bells. Take a deep breath. Maybe I should take you home right away. You don't look so good. I'll get the lilies and take them to the graveyard."

Bella started to cry, in between sobs she said, "Edward wouldn't want lilies. My favorite flowers were orange blossoms and yellow roses. He said once when he was really sick that if he were to die he would want my favorite flowers on his grave. I know he'll never see them but I know he wanted a piece of me with him forever."

Emmett pulled Bella into a hug, "Alright sis. I'm taking you home though. You feel like you have a fever. Get whatever you need for homework and I'll sign you out."

Once Emmett was gone Bella whisper, yelled, "You promised Edward! You promised I would never see you. You promised me if I was brave and didn't cry when you died you'd cross over. I didn't cry. Edward you promised me I wouldn't have to cross you over. I can't say goodbye again… please tell me you see a light?"

Edward frowned, "I don't Bella. There's something I have to do. I have to get a message to my family. I needed to say goodbye to you. Do you remember that night?"


	2. A nightly haunting

**A nightly haunting**

Once Emmett took Bella home she flopped on her bed and began to cry. She felt a cool breeze and then heard a pain filled voice, "Angels shouldn't cry. Bella I'm here."

She lifted her tear stained face from the pillow, "Edward? Go away. You promised me you'd go to the light. You promised me."

Edward pressed a charm into her hand. She closed her eyes as the visions of the night her best friend died flashed before her eyes. **Flashback: **Bella sat in a chair beside Edward's hospital bed. His mother was out in the hall talking to a doctor.

It was time to let him in on her secret. Bella took his had in hers. It shocked her when he opened his eyes, and whispered, "Bella. You are still here. I thought your mom would have made you go home hours ago. You look tired."

Bella shook her head, "I'm not. Mom thought I should stay so you weren't alone. Do you want me to leave?"

Edward shook his head, "That is the last thing I want. What I do want is for you to get out of that chair. Come up here and sit with me. Why are you sad Bells? I'm going to be fine. My mom says the doctors are wrong. Trust me."

Bella got up on the bed beside Edward and rested her head on his chest. After while she said, "There's something I have to tell you. Edward. Please don't freak out. I can see and speak to the dead."

A small smile was on Edward's face when he answered, "Why would that freak me out Bella? I think it's cool that you can do that. Are there any ghosts here now?"

Bella shook her head, "It's going to stay that way. Edward I want you to promise me something ok. Promise me that I won't ever have to cross you over. If you die I want you to be at peace and to go right into the light. Do you promise?"

Edward nodded and stroked Bella's hair, "Get some sleep Bella. I'll still be here when you wake up."

Bella fought back a yawn, "I'm not tired. I want to talk to you."

Edward flashed a small smile at his friend and asked, "Since you don't want to sleep; what you want to talk about?"

Bella tried not to cry, "I don't know. I want to talk about everything and nothing. Then I want to wake up with you smiling at me… like you are right now. That's not going to happen though is it?"

Edward heard the sobs Bella was holding back and whispered, "Bella I'm not going anywhere. I promise. If something happens to me though I don't want you to cry; promise me."

Bella nodded against Edward's chest, "If you promise to go into the light."

Edward started to answer but Esme came into the room along with Alice and Rosalie. Alice's boyfriend Jasper stood behind her rubbing her shoulders soothingly. Alice wasn't comforted by this though and went to stand by Edward.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she took his head, "Edward; please you can't d…"

Edward didn't let his sister finish he asked Bella to shift over on the bed and then patted a space beside him, "Allie I'm here and I'm going to be fine. Don't cry."

Esme went over to the bed and spoke for the first time, "Edward your dad would have been here but he had to work. He said to let you know not to hold on for him son. If it hurts too much as your mother I'm begging you to just let go."

Edward shook his head, "I'm not going anywhere."

Esme kissed her son's forehead, "You just rest son."

Rosalie saw the tears in her sister's eyes and asked, "Alice do you want to take a walk with me?"

Alice shook her head violently and a tear landed on Edward's hand. He put his hand on her cheek, "Allie what did I just finish telling mom? Go with Rose. I'll be here when you get back."

Alice got off the bed and Bella moved so she was centered on Edward's chest, he saw her yawn and laughed, "Go to sleep Bella."

Esme saw the dark circles under Bella's eyes and agreed, "You need some sleep."

Bella shook her head, "I'm afraid to sleep. I don't want… if you… Edward…"

Edward rubbed Bella's back and put her hand over his heart. As long as that beats I'm still here."

When Bella refused again Esme said, "At least let me get you a coffee dear. Edward do you need pain meds or anything?"

Edward shook his head and turned to face his friend again, "Bells? Look at me."

Bella looked at Edward and yawned, "I'm not sleeping. I want to be awake incase anything happens. I'm your best friend. Like I promised you when you got sick every time you were in the hospital we'd get through this together."

Edward smiled, "You've been through hell and back with me Bella. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't with you…. I…"

Everything started to happen at once. Esme dropped the coffees she'd been carrying and rushed over to her son's bedside. Edward coughed and blood came out of his mouth. Bella didn't even think about the mess she just buried her face in his chest and whispered, "I'm here Edward its ok. Look at me…"

Edward gasped out in between coughs, "Where are Rose and Allie?"

At that point Alice and Rose came back. Alice tried to run to her brother's side but Jasper held her back, "Alice honey, give him some room."

Once Edward calmed down he motioned for Alice to come over to the bed. Esme sat down in a chair and stroked his pale face, "Baby if it hurts its ok to go. We love you so much Edward."

Edward's eyes started to flutter shut but he fought it, "Bella?"

Bella closed her eyes and tried to keep tears from escaping, "Yes Edward. I'm right here."

Then the monitors went off all at once; Carlisle was one of the doctors that rushed into the room. He grabbed the paddles and said, in a firm voice, "Bella you need to move now!"

Bella scrambled blindly off of the bed and barely heard the calls of charging and clear. She felt nothing, she heard nothing but she didn't cry. She was going to keep that promise to Edward. Esme pulled her into a hug and choked out in a mangled sob, "He's gone." **End Flashback:**

Bella stared at Edward in shock, "Why did you show me that? Why are you still here? You promised me! I can't help you unless you tell me why you are still here! Edward…!"

Emmett came into the room along with Charlie and Renee. She dropped to her knees with her face in her hands. Emmett saw the cross necklace, and gently shook her shoulders, "Sis what's the matter? You just started screaming. Are you feeling alright? I just came to tell you dinner was ready but if you aren't hungry I can bring something up."

Bella threw her arms around her brother, "Emmett it hurts so badly all the time. Why won't it ever go away?"

Renee pulled Bella away from Emmett, "I know sweetie. You and Edward were very close and it hurts. This is the second panic attack you've had today honey. It's not healthy. I think at your next appointment with Carlisle I'll have him look into therapy."


	3. cross my heart

**Cross my heart**

The next few weeks were really hard for Bella. The vision that Edward had shown her left her really shaken up. She wore the cross everywhere now. After a lot of pleading she managed to talk her mom out of thinking she needed therapy.

The only problem now was Emmett watched her like a hawk and that made helping Edward nearly impossible. She hated to admit it but a part of her was angry at Edward for being earth bound.

She was sitting on her bed getting ready for her date with Jacob when she heard the crack of glass. I turned my head and saw that my vanity mirror was shattered. The broken glass on the floor spelled "**you promised**."

Bella took a deep breath to steady herself before she called in a soft voice, "Edward is that you? If it is you need to talk to me. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you but… I haven't exactly had a choice."

Bella ducked as a glass dove Edward had given her for her birthday shattered to the floor. Bella was used to ghosts being angry and confused but the fact that it was Edward made her heart break. She swallowed all of her fear and sobbed, "Edward please calm down and talk to me. I want to help you. I just don't know what you need from me."

She felt a cold breeze blow on her face and then saw Edward standing in front of her dresser. Edward spoke loudly, "You promised Bella! You promised me you'd never ignore me for another man! Now I find this and it's Jacob Black of all people? He tried to take advantage of you Bella. I had to stop him from ripping your dress at prom. That's how you ended up going with me!"

Bella screamed, "For Gods sake Edward! You are d- e- a-d! Jacob has every right to ask me on a date! Maybe I need to go in order to keep my promise to you."

Bella stopped talking when she heard Edward crying. She sat on the bed, "Edward? Edward? Sit with me."

Bella saw Edward walk over and sit on the bed next to her, "I promised you I wouldn't die. I broke my word Bella. I'm so sorry. Jacob would never lie to you."

Bella heard the door slam and knew that Edward gone and was still angry. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Jacob's number to let him know where to pick her up. When they got to the movie theater Jacob opened Bella's door for her and paid for the tickets. He was the perfect gentleman.

Halfway through the movie Jacob asked, "Can I hold your hand?"

Bella nodded and Jacob took her hand in his. Suddenly the screen went black and her drink spilled in his lap. He swore when the hot coffee spilled on his leg. Bella franticly said, "Shoot. Jake I'm so sorry here let me go get you some paper towels."

Jacob answered, "No I'll get it. You just wait here. The movie might come back on and I really want you to see this."

When Jacob went to get up he slipped on the spilled coffee and landed on his face in a puddle on cheese someone had dropped. Then popcorn went flying. Jacob got up off the floor and snapped that's it we are going home! I don't know what kind of crap Sam and Seth they are pulling but I swear they have gone too far this time."

Bella knew what was going on and she was angry as well. Yes she felt bad for what she had said to him but what he did was way worse then telling him that he was dead. She followed Jacob to the car and knew that they were not alone.

Edward remained quiet until we pulled into the restaurant called La Bella's. It was an Italian place. I heard Edward shout in my ear, "How dare that bastard take you to our place!"

Bella mumbled under her breath, "Later Edward."

Jacob stared at Bella for a second, "Bella it's been three years. Isn't about time to let the dead rest in peace?"

Bella nodded and followed Jacob to their table. Once they were seated Bella ordered mushroom ravioli and Jacob ordered the shrimp pasta. Half way through dinner Jacob leaned forward and said, "Bella you have something on your mouth. No I'll get it."

Before Jacob could kiss Bella the flower vase on the table spilled in Bella's lap. She gasped from the cold and then Jacob screamed, "Your shirt is on fire!"

Bella looked at her shirt sleeve and saw the candle flame had traveled over and was burning her shirt. Jacob dumped his root beer on her arm to put out of the fire. Once that happened Jacob threw the money on the table and snapped, "You are a freak! I tried to be nice and thought maybe the movie was just Seth playing a joke. Now this is too far! Find your own way home freak."

Bella watched Jacob leave and then ran into the women's bathroom. Once she had stopped crying she dialed Emmett's cell number. He answered on the first ring, "What's the matter Bells?"

Bella sobbed, "Emmett Jacob left me at the restaurant. Can you come get me?"

Bella could hear her brother starting his car, "I'll be right there sis. Do you want mom to come with me?"

Bella sniffled, "No I need to tell you something. I don't want anyone else to know. Not even mom."

When Emmett got there he saw Bella's ruined shirt and asked, "Sis did Jake hurt you?"

Bella shook her head and tried to think of a way to tell Emmett the truth. Finally she said, "Emmett I'm going to tell you something and I need you to be really open minded."

Emmett smiled at his little sister, "Sure sis."

Bella answered slowly, "Emmett, Edward did this to me…"

Emmett sighed in frustration, "Bella I can't deal with your panic attacks right now! Tell me the truth. Who hurt you? If Jake hurt you I'll kill him!"

Bella started to explain when the windshield frosted over and Bella said, "He's here now Emmett. I know he is because I can see and talk to the dead. I've been able to ever since I was four. Edward did this to me because he was angry that I went out with Jake. Now can we just go home?"

Emmett didn't know what to say. Once he could speak he said, "Yeah we can go home. Are you ok Bells?"

Bella didn't even realize she was crying until her brother used his finger to wipe away a tear. She sniffed softly, "I'm fine. I just need to call Alice. Can you tell mom I don't feel well?"

Emmett nodded, "Sure sis. Jacob's a creep. Get some sleep. Was this gift the reason for all of the panic attacks?"

Bella nodded, "Now you see why I told mom I didn't need help?"

Emmett nodded, "I understand sis. Now Edward isn't here right? Not our Edward?"

Bella sniffed, "Emmett, Edward is still here. He's with us right now and he's in pain and he's angry. I can feel it."

Emmett's hands tightened on the wheel, "Bella when we get home I want you to go to bed. You are stressed out and not thinking right. I can be open minded but not that much. Seeing ghosts I can deal with but you seeing Edward… I can't… the idea that he hurt you. Edward would never ever hurt you. I believe that from the bottom of my heart."

Bella felt the presence leave and said sadly, "He's gone Emmett. Edward's upset and won't talk to me as it is and you just made it worse! If I can't get him to cross over I'll never forgive you!"


	4. Forgiveness and a late night talk

**Forgiveness and a late night talk**

After Bella got to her room and heard her CD player playing a song called address in the stars. That was the song Alice sang at Edward's funeral. She closed her eyes and softly sang, "_I stumbled across your picture today. I could barely breathe. The moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief. I dialed your number but you wouldn't be there. I knew the whole time but it's still not fair. I just wanted to hear your voice. I just needed to hear your voice. What do I do with all I need to say? There's so much I want to tell you everyday. It breaks my heart. I cry these tears in the dark. I write these letters to you. They get lost in the blue. There's no address in the stars. Now I'm driving in the pitch black dark. I'm screaming at the sky. It hurts so bad. Everybody tells me all I need is time. Then the morning rolls in and it hits me again. That isn't anything but a lie. What do I do with all I need to say? There's so much I want to tell you everyday. It breaks my heart. I cry these tears in the dark. I write these letters to you. They get lost in the blue. There's no address in the stars. Without you here with me I don't know what to do. I'd give anything just to talk to you. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. All I can do is write these letters to you. There's no address in the stars."_

Bella went over to her bed, "Edward? I know you are here. Just talk to me please. I want to help you. You ruined my date with Jacob but that isn't what hurts me. Edward what hurts me is you are here and you won't let me help you. Like you said the night you died, I'd been to hell and back with you. Let me help you one more time."

That was when she noticed that her desk drawers were wrenched open. Sealed letters were flying across the room. She knew what the letters were. Alice had given them to her. They held all of the pain she felt after Edward's death.

She gathered the letters up off the floor and set them on the dresser. Then she said, "Edward listen, Alice really misses you. She wrote these letters. Do you want to talk to her? Is that why you are still here?"

It was a long time before Edward spoke, "Bella I'm here because I have things I need to do. Most of it has to do with my dad. The rest of it has to do with a certain brown haired angel who led through me through the end."

Bella blushed, "Edward what could you possibly have to tell me? Yes I had nightmares of the night you died for months… that's not the point… the point is you don't have anything to make up to me. Talk to Alice then cross over ok? Crap how am I supposed to let her know you are here? She asks me everyday if I've seen you and I've always told her no. What woke you up after three years? If you tell me you were here but not coming to me I will find someway to kick your ass!"

Edward swallowed, "Don't you get it Bella? Before I died I was trying to tell you something. I was trying to tell you that…"

Before Edward could finish Emmett came into the room, "Bella I know you are mad at me but really… you know breaking a mirror is seven years bad luck? You broke two of them just keep your distance from any black cats."

Bella screamed in frustration, "Emmett did you even listen to me in the car? Edward is here and he did this to my room. He didn't want me to go on the date with Jacob. I guess I should have listened to him. He found Alice's letters. That got him to tell me why he's here. He has something to tell me but you showed up and he left. Emmett what am I going to do? It hurts so much seeing him so confused and scared. My Edward wasn't like this."

Emmett pulled his little sister into his arms and tried not to cry, "Edward is really here? Bella c-can I talk to him? Tell him how sorry I am? I should have skipped football practice that night. I should have been with him. He was my best friend."

Bella rested her head on her brother's shoulder, "Yes. Edward is here but he's not himself. He's scared and angry. I have to get him to cross over. It's not good for him to stay here. You can talk to him once he's calmed down a bit. Right now he'll only talk to me. I'm sorry I yelled at you Emmett. How am I going to tell his family? Carlisle feels so guilty for not holding his son's hand the night he died. He quit working at the hospital. I think that's why Edward wants to talk to his dad. What I don't understand is his wanting to talk to me. I was his friend nothing more. What could he have to say to me Emmett? Alice needs him so much more then I do."

Emmett squeezed his sister's shoulder, "Bells its 3:00 am so I think you should get some sleep."

Bella nodded and climbed into bed. Then she asked, "How has Rose taken things? After Edward died she sort of stopped speaking to me."

Emmett sighed, "Pretty darn bad. I've gone to pick her up on dates and her makeup is running down her cheeks. The sparkle that used to be in her eyes has gone out. She tries to be strong for Alice but its breaking her down. I'm warning you she won't take it well that Edward is still here."

Bella punched her pillow, "This isn't fair Emmett! It isn't fair that I have to keep things a secret all the time! I hate having to watch Alice hurt all the time and I know Edward is still here!"

Emmett got up off the floor and sat on the bed beside his sister, "Bella. I will tell Rosalie. You just talk to Alice. Now get some sleep."

In the morning Bella heard a sad voice, "I went to see my sister last night. She cried for hours while writing a letter."

Bella nodded, "She's writes you one every day Edward. She gives them to me to keep safe. She's says one day she'll be comfortable enough to put them on your grave. Before you ask me I've never read them. I didn't have the heart."

Edward sighed, "I want so bad to help her. Dad quit his job after I died. Bella I never should have died. My family needed me. You needed me to stay."

Bella couldn't speak once she found her voice she said, "Edward... I need my Edward. You being angry and upset and… this isn't you. You can talk to your family just let me help you. Now I have to get ready for school. I promise I will talk to Alice today. I just need to find the right way to do it."


	5. how could you!

**How could you?**

Emmett picked Rosalie up for school and tried to think about how to tell her Edward was still here. He knew it would be hard for her to hear. Rosalie got into the car and smiled at him, "Morning Emmett. Hey what's wrong?"

Emmett blinked, "Nothing babe. I was just thinking about Edward. Bella had a really hard time when he passed and keeps thinking that he's still with us. If he was Rose would you have anything to say to him?"

Rosalie's hard eyes grew soft for a second and then she said, "I'd tell him I love him. I miss him more then anything. I'm tired of being so dam strong all the time!"

Emmett pulled his girlfriend into a hug, "Easy Rosie. Even when you aren't strong I love you. I get that you feel you have to be strong for Alice but babe you don't need to be in front of me. Let me take some of the pain away."

Rosalie rested her head on her boyfriend's shoulder, "Emmett you don't know how much that means to me."

He kissed his girlfriend's cheek, "I'll always be here for you babe."

Once they reached the school Bella pulled Emmett aside, "Did you talk to Rosalie?"

Emmett shook his head sheepishly, "I couldn't Bells. I started to but when I eased my way into saying it she looked like she was going to cry. I wasn't going to break her heart. Bella maybe have Alice tell her. I honestly can't do it."

Bella hugged her brother and nodded, "That's the hardest part of what I do Emmett- telling the family and friends. Not everyone is happy to hear the news that their loved ones are still among them. The ones that are freak out the second you mention the word cross over. It's never easy. You just eventually get used to people hating you."

Emmett started to answer his sister but the bell rang. Alice was in her Biology class taking notes when the words appeared in the book, "I'm always here."

She ignored it and finished writing. At the end of the day though Bella pulled her aside, "Alice remember how I promised Edward had crossed over?"

Alice nodded and then said, "Bella I'm more then ok with Edward being in the light. You said it's the best thing for him. Bella what is with the look?"

Bella smiled at her friend, "What look? I don't know what you are talking about."

Alice laughed, "Bella Swan I have been your friend since you were seven years old. I think I know the look you get when you are hiding something. Now what is going on?"

Bella gulped, "Alice now don't get mad ok. Edward didn't cross over. He did but something woke him up. He's here and he needs to get a message to your family."

Bella watched her friend's face turn from red, to purple to blue. Her hands clenched into fists and she took several deep breaths. Finally she screamed, "Isabella Marie Swan! How could you? You know how much I love Edward and- and you sit there and make up crap like this! I can't do this now! I hate you!"

Emmett saw the whole thing and ran over to his sister. He scooped her into his arms and softly whispered, "Its ok sis. It's ok to cry. Alice will come around. Just don't think about it too much ok."

Bella sniffled, "Emmett can you call the Cullens and tell them I'm not coming over. Tell them I caught a stomach bug or something. I can't handle them screaming at me to."

Emmett nodded, "I know it sucks Bells. If I could take this gift from you I would."

Bella cried herself to sleep in her older brother's arms. When she woke up Edward was sitting in her desk chair. He spoke in a concerned voice, "What's the matter Bella?"

Bella lifted her head, "Nothing Edward. I just had a really rough day."

Edward sighed he knew when Bella was hiding things from him. He asked, "Can I see my family yet Bella?"

Bella shook her head sadly, "Edward that's what's wrong. I told Alice you were here and she freaked out. She refused to believe me. Emmett didn't tell Rosalie yet. After Alice's reaction I don't want to risk your parents right now. I'm sorry."

Edward sighed, "Bells did you worry about what I'd think when you told me?"

Bella shook her head, "I didn't worry. I just knew I had to tell you no matter what happened. I knew you needed to know. Edward what is the point? I told Alice and I lost my best friend. I need a break ok."

Edward frowned, "Bella you promised me that you would help me no matter what it took. Why is tonight any different? I need to talk to my parents. My dad needs to know it wasn't his fault I died. Please Bella."

Bella sighed, "Edward nothing changed. I just need to get myself together. I'm a mess. I'll go see them first thing in the morning. I swear Edward. You said you had something to tell me to. Edward what do you have to tell me?"

Edward answered, "You aren't ready to hear it Bells. I don't want to scare you."

Bella felt his presence leave and noticed that this time he wasn't angry he was sad. She rolled over and sighed into her pillow, "I love you Edward."


	6. try and understand

**Try and understand**

Bella got into her truck and drove to the Cullens' house. She was going to risk everything and talk to Carlisle and Esme. When she pulled into her second family's driveway she felt Edward's presence.

She spoke calmly, "Edward you need to stay hidden. I'm sorry."

Edward spoke in a sad voice, "I can't Bella. Alice needs me. I can't take hearing her cry at night anymore."

Bella sighed into her hands, "Edward you can't see any of them right now. I don't want to just throw this at them Edward. I have to handle this the right way. I will help you but you have to help me help your family first."

Edward's presence left and Bella got out of the car. She knew that Alice and Rosalie would be at school. That was why she wanted to talk to them early in the morning. She rang the doorbell and waited. Esme answered it, "Why hello Bella. I'm surprised to see you. After the state Alice came home in yesterday. Shouldn't you be at school dear?"

Bella answered, "Mrs. Cullen… I needed to talk to you. This is important. It couldn't wait until after school."

Esme led Bella inside and asked, "Would you like anything to drink? I made breakfast if you are hungry."

Bella swallowed and then answered, "Just tea please. Mrs. Cullen I'm here because I wanted to talk about… to you and Doctor Cullen… about… about…."

Esme brought Bella her tea cup and said, "Talk about who Bella dear; and calm down. You are shaking like a leaf."

Bella gulped and looked at the floor when she said, "Edward."

Esme put her arm around Bella, "Bella look at me. You can always talk to me. I haven't forgotten what you did for my son. Now what did you want to talk about evolving Edward? My husband won't be joining us for this conversation. Edward is a very painful subject for him."

Bella frowned, "Mrs. Cullen I wouldn't push for this if it wasn't really important. Can you please convince him to come down and talk to me?"

Esme smiled sadly, "I will try Bella."

Esme went upstairs and got her husband. Once both of them were sitting down Bella spoke in a soft voice, "Mrs. Cullen, Doctor Cullen I don't know how to say this but I can see and speak to the dead."

Esme's hand went to her mouth and she looked like she was going to cry. Carlisle frowned, "So this is what Alice was going on about last night. Esme you aren't actually buying this are you?"

Esme put her hand up and murmured, "Let Bella talk."

Bella mouthed a thank you before she said; "Now this next part is going to be the hardest thing to swallow. I cross the spirits that have unfinished business cross over. I'm here because I've seen Edward. He has a message for the family."

Tears fell down Esme's cheeks and Carlisle hugged her. Then he asked, "Bella is he here now?"

Bella started to shake her head but then she felt Edward's presence, "He's here. I'd let you talk to him now but I think its best if I have this conversation all of you together."

Esme asked with tears in her voice, "Tell him I love him."

Bella answered in a tight voice, "He can hear you. He seems a lot calmer now that you guys know he's here. I'll meet later tonight and he will be with me. Mrs. Cullen once he's at peace he will cross over- he won't be here anymore."

Esme started to protest but Bella cut her off, "Mrs. Cullen its hurting Edward to be here. He's confused and lost. He's not our Edward. We will know when he is ready to cross over."

Esme nodded, "I understand dear. I'll explain everything to Alice and Rosalie when they get home. Now did you want to stay? School's over anyway."

Bella nodded, "Sure Mrs. Cullen. Thank you for understanding. I know this can be easy on you."

Carlisle nodded, "Bella, you don't understand the pain of loosing a child. The fact that I could have brought him back… I failed him when he needed me the most and I wasn't even there to hold his hand…. I'm sorry I can't do this…"

Bella sat on the couch and Esme took her hand after Carlisle left, "I'm sorry dear. He'll come around tonight. This is just a very painful process. Carlisle blames himself for not bringing Edward back. As much as saying goodbye to him again is going to hurt I want what's best for my son."

Bella started to answer when Alice and Rosalie came into the room. Alice's eyes were red and her cheeks were splotchy from tear streaks. Esme got up and put her arms around her youngest daughter, "What happened sweetie?"

Alice stared at Bella, "I'm so sorry. Edward's here- he's really here. Bella what is keeping him from the light?"

Bella hugged her friend, "Yes Alice Edward's here. He wants your dad to take his job back. He has something to tell me. He's afraid of scaring me. I don't know what that means. I'll let you guys talk to him tonight- if your dad is ready."

Rosalie stared at Bella with a look of disbelief on her face. Then her hard eyes softened a tear rolled down her cheeks, "I've always felt him. I'm not crazy. Is he here now Bella? Please say he is?"

Bella shook her head, "He left when you guys got home Rose. Later tonight or whenever your dad is ready you guys can say goodbye. Just remember what I said… as much as this hurts it's the best thing for him."


End file.
